Mixed Feelings

What a crazy week this has been.

First (before I talk about basketball), I want to talk about Church.  Today I was released as Primary President after serving for over 4 years.  

***SIDE NOTE***I thought it was 5 years, but looking back, I was called the beginning of January but not sustained until the first week of February.  In my defense, I was the Cub Master in scouting less than 2 months after moving to Dubois (Aug. 2003) & the Valiant 11 teacher for a year, then on to Primary pianist for 2 years, Primary chorister for 3 years, & then Primary President for the last 4 years.  (I was Cub Master--& chorister--until a few months after I was called as president)  So I just know I've been in Primary for a very long time ;)   I guess the timeline just blurred together :D

I had a feeling in November that I was going to be released, but when it didn't happen (& that's when we plan 2014--the whole year & put together birthday presents), I thought maybe it wouldn't happen.  But last week the bishop called me in to let me know of the changes.  I had just one question:  who was the new Primary President going to be--because I couldn't turn the kids over to just anyone!  When he told me it was Carrie May, I immediately was relieved because she is such an awesome lady!  (Probably would have felt that way with most of the ladies I know)

So all week I was feeling a bit funky & anxious as I was trying to gather all the primary stuff I have & de-junk my primary bag.  As I was looking at all that I've been responsible for, I was feeling a bit panicky because I didn't get "everything" done/accomplished with the kids.  But I know that it's impossible to get everything done with most things.  And I know I've done the best I could--I just love all the kids so much & will miss being with them each week.  

I have felt happiness, sorrow, joy, confusion, peace, frustration, contentment & so much more the past years I have served with the various ladies & children in our community.  I also realized how many responsibilities & "hats" I have been wearing--especially the past 4 years as Primary President.  

So this morning was my last week have early meeting (Ward Council)!  I have to admit, it felt a little weird to be talking about upcoming Primary events & concerns about kids, families, etc. when I knew I was getting released in another hour.  I was able to finish out the day in Primary, so the new presidency could sit in & see how sharing/singing time runs.  I was able to bear my testimony to the kids & say good-bye.   I testified of Heavenly Father's love for each of them & how he knows them individually.  I also told them about feeling anxious during the week, but as soon as I was released, I had a peaceful, warm feeling come over me & I felt at ease--knowing that all of this is part of Heavenly Father's plan.  (I also identified that feeling as the Holy Ghost--something that is sometimes overlooked about teaching children what some of their feelings are).  And of course--I cried.

This is the little note/candy we gave the kids--trying to express our love.

So for at least one week--I do not have a primary calling.  I can't quite say I don't have a calling, because I am still the assistant camp director for the YW's girl's camp.  But I was told not to get too comfortable--especially in our small ward.

I still have some "responsibilities" this coming week:  Cleaning out the primary closets (at least 1/3 of the stuff in the closets are my personal stuff I have used since I was chorister.  some of the stuff I will just leave for the new presidency);  Meeting with the new presidency & letting them know of the many things they need to do (Cub Scouts alone as a member of the Primary presidency is a lot, not to mention being in charge of the 11-year old scouts, the Faith in God program, Priesthood Preview, ward council, and so many other things!).  But I know we are turning things over to a loving group of women & I am at peace.