I am okay

Just wanted to share a few more thoughts--I think this blog is more for me than for anyone else and it is theraputic to get my thoughts out.

I am a procrastinator when it comes to things I don't really like to do, and sometimes with things I do like to do (like scrapbooking). I have been planning on getting back on track after being pregnant and having Benjamin, but not today. I really planned on starting my healthy eating habits and exercise when the kids go back to school in January. But after my doctor visit today, I got a wake up call and started today. My blood pressure is really high--high enough to be put on medicine if it doesn't drop some in the next week!!

It is high for many reasons--ones I can change. I have had relatively great health all my life and let bad habits creep back into my lifestyle (like lack of exercise, poor eating habits, eating too much and too much junk, too many activities, too much stress, too little sleep...). I felt I could do it all--be the ideal super mom that no one really can be.

Life will go by too fast--it already is. Ethan is a junior already and before I know it, all of the children will be grown. I put too much stress on myself thinking I need to get so many things done--but I know I cannot do them all without help. I need to enjoy this time instead of being so stressed that I can't enjoy the small (and big) things in my children's lives.

I know there are times and seasons for everything--now is the time when my house will never be "clean", when I will never have enough time to organize & get things put away since I choose to be involved in all my children's activites.

I was recently reminded that I need to enjoy the now--don't keep saying "if I can just get through this event, or get this project done." I really do know that I will never get everything done, and sometimes I think I stress so much about getting things done (whatever the project, school event, church activity, cleaning, etc) that I don't enjoy the process of planning and doing the things I do. Don't we all fall into this trap?

So today, I didn't stress that my Christmas newsletter and cards are not done yet alone mailed out. I didn't yell at my kids to go to bed. I sat and chatted with my sister. I played a game with Emmalee. The house is messy and I am okay.

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